Its been said that respect older people as if they were you parents, and those younger that you as if they are your brother and sisters. This is a common law among those of us brought up in the African villages. Those were the same villages that adhered to the saying that "it takes a village to raise a child" In short this is the very essence of "ubuntu". My own definition of ubuntu is plain simple. It is living in world where you acknowledge other people's existence and being considerate of their feelings by both your words and actions. Even the holy scriptures tell us to "Treat other people as we would like to be treated by them" Matt 7v7. Some have nick named this passage as the golden rule of contact. I am not a big fan of the saying "What goes around comes around", but this is common saying too among many cultures.
One of the hardest thing in life is to migrate. Its one thing to migrate, but its another thing to migrate to halfway around the world. This means living your people, parents , relatives, child hood friends, culture, language. Quite often migration is because of a reason, and there can be thousands of them. It only makes sense to the migrant. Its been exactly twelve years since I left home today. I told some of my readers that, I had not travelled anywhere outside Zimbabwe up until twelve years ago headed to the great USA.
It so happens that as I go around meeting people in their home because of my demanding technical job, one thing never ceases to amaze me. It is the fact that some how as human beings, we are all the same in one way or anonther . I usually get to my customers and greet them professionally and get into business. I can imagine that in their minds they think I am robot. Just in there to fix what Iam suppose to fix and leave. Well I do, that but more than that, I try to strike a conversation to loosen them up. I ask than about their children. Where they were born and raised. I tell them about myself, if ever they are curious. I tell them how long I have been here, and my experience with the job. I tell them about my kids. Some would ask me about my parents, and the state of my home country. If I miss it or not. I tell them that there is no place like "home". The most interesting part of the conversation is when they tell about their own families. I can see the light in their eyes. Some would tell me about their kids, grand kids, sisters, brothers, mother , father and so on. Each day is new experience to me in as far as people that I am going to meet.
Well there are few instances that I regret having asked about their family. This is because they all look perfect until I know who is who and what. For example one time I met these two old folks, probably in their late eighties, they looked perfect to me as a married couple. I thought they had been married for a long time. But when I asked the man. He said six years only. First I thought he said sixty years. He then told me that, his first wife died after being with her for many years and the same thing had happened to her present wife. Her first husband died. So these two meet in a fiftieth high school reunion as widow and a widower. Apparently they had previously been high school sweet hearts. So they hooked up again and got married after alsmost fifth years. I can not tell you how many families look perfect on the picture frames. It kind of like our very own families. There are stories, some perfect and some not so perfect.
The most extra ordinary thing that I have found out is the fact that people do not always connect only in terms of blood. Sometimes its destiny. For example I have a lot of people who are my parents' age who have kids, the same age is me, some older and some younger who give me good advice and suppport. These come in form of church women, pastors, elders, sunday school teachers, neighbours and mere community people and some times customers. They sometimes do not have kids of their own. Some of them have kids who migrated half way around the world too. People who have kids in missions, in China , Europe and Africa etc. Some got jobs in thousands of miles away in Los Angels. Denver, Portland Oregon, Houston Texas, Alaska etc.
Through out all this, I am amazed at the connections that God gives us despite the fact that we are from different cultures, only brought together by destiny. This often gives me comfort and I try to put myself in the shoes of my mother or father. I was brought up knowing exactly that I should look after my parents at an old age. Long distance was unheard of. I do not know if what goes around comes around, but I am often amazed at the grace given to my mother by other people. When I went there couple years ago. I was amazed at how younger people of my age respected her and honored her. She seems to have other children that we do not know. Some do not even have their own biological parents, but they respect and honor her as their own.
Recently I was struck as called my mother on the cell phone, she seems to have a hard time hearing me. I suspect its because of old age or network. While she was struggling to hear me, a younger female voice took over the phone and took down the mgs for her. I could hear her tell my mom what I was saying. I was amazed to see"'ubuntu" in operation even in such difficult times.They must have been in a church service. Tell me if the spirit of ubuntu does nto exist anymore? I think it exist even beyond cultural boundaries of Africa. This is not a green card to negleting your parents! It rather a motivation to be the best you can under any cirmcustances.
No comments:
Post a Comment