What they said on face book.
Ingxoxo/ Discussion. Do you think the so much cherished African culture and custom of Lobola is a disadvantage to girls. Or should I say, is it still applicable in today world or it needs revamping to fit the times? . I think it needs a little panel biting
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Nqobizitha Vella Sibanda it has been revamped, i think it should never die. My wish would be that it doesnt change from the way it was done.
Ncube Lobola is a yardstick! If a man cannot afford to pay lobola how is he going to take care of you! If he has no money, that means personal finance is lacking and he needs more time to get his finances straight. If he is grumbling about your '...gold-digging' parents, that means he doesn't appreciate them enough for who you are, and by deduction he doesn't appreciate you that much as well. Girls need to stand with their parents on this customary stuff and stop compromising themselves too!
Mandla Mkwananzi The only problem I see with (due respect) is that is make females property thereby disdavantaging them from being equal partners it the marriage institution. That is why some parents do not favour investing their money in girls ngoba bayakw...enda, and they feel like they lost. Long ago it was token but now is real paying, and when one is paid for, the one who paid can do anything ngoba inkomo ziyabe sezadliwa koyise zala.
Linda Ncube Long ago Mandla it was a token lanamuhla its still a token. Ayephuma amajazi lamajali lenkomo kanti even today ziyabizwa zonke lezi izinto. I think now it is the attitude pple have towards this lobolo thing but yona iryt.
Glenn Bengwane Ncube Manini mbijana Gagisa lizathi selikhuluma mina I have 3 girls, lizama ukwenzani.
Linda Ncube Asikhumbule ukuthi sikhuluma ngamalobolo proper hatshi ifund-raising Mkwananzi. lLobolo was paid for our parents kungelamuntu ozwa ubuhlungu futhi obabamkhulu babelungiselela nxa umfana esiyacela umlilo bekwazi futhi ukuthi kuzabizwa inkomo ezingu8 or so futhi bayekhala kodwa isiphetho zaziqhutshwa engxenye sekwephulwe eyodwa. Man should work hard before bayethatha abafazi babo.
BNeauty Ndiovu yah u rite Li.nda . hawu Gagisa unamadodana amanengi yini,manje ubona sengathi inkomo zophela esibayeni.
Gwab Mpofu Lobola is good, but the sense of property ownership is not good. It depends on how you take things, I like Lobola but everything has to be subjective. I take it as a way of appreciation and ukuqala ubuhlobo, Let us not take some of these th...ings out of proportion at the end we lose the valuable African values of some of these things. I know we are now a mixed nation, but the problem is when we start to undermine some good qualities we (africans) had, look at other cultures, they still have some great things about their cultures, However, there are exceptions to everything.
Wizzy Mangoma Lobola as we all know was meant to represent the token of giving a woman to her loved one by following our Culture. Now it has become a business for parents and uncles. They are forgetting the big picture -the cultural unification of two fa...milies and the two people who love each other. People are NOT for sale. The traditional aspect of it should be preserved with respect without punishing MEN. When unreasonable amounts are requested during lobola, not only men suffer but the women too. because they are the ones who are going to spend their lives with the man who has just been drained financially. Well some couples just help each raise the money and some girls do have understanding parents who may not charge a huge amount. Its a matter of meeting half way. Each couple and each family differ. So basically I think each family should make a formula to fit them. At the same if we maintain our culture, we will never loose our identity.See More
about an hour ago ·
Gwab Mpofu You are all right, lobola is now more of a fund raising, Maybe it is good to do so,maybe not. it all depends how it is brought to those making the payment and how those asking for payment think of it. If the payment requester put a value t...o their daughter as selling the daughter, that is not what it should be. But as we all know everything have value, some times value is not measurable with a Dollar. that is why there are things they call priceless. You can not put a price to something. good lobola is in good consideration of who you are asking to make the payment. Like everyone is saying, if a man is poor and his family does not have any cows or Reserves, asking for a lot of cows from that man will cripple him and his family. At the same time, even if his family is wealthy, make the lobola be reasonable. you will hear no complaints from many men and women. but if you ask for more than most men can afford then that is when some men would want to use the western culture as a way to escape lobola. Let's bear in mind that some people like Western culture with everything it comes with. sometimes that is good sometimes it is not. There can not be a formula to some of these things, because some would argue that, the money they could have used to purchase cows were used to educate their daughter and the guy just comes in and takes her out of the family. that may not be a valid argument when you look at it from a different angle. At the end it comes to, what do you believe and what are you comfortable with, As for me, I like lobola, that is part of African culture I am proud of. whether someone is using it to raise money or not, I still like it. Thanks for raising this discussion, I am done commenting.
Bottom line
Thanks for all your contributions, this matter is obviously a sensetive one, both in terms of culture and custom. One thing I realise is that we are living between two culture, western and African, for example, umtshado, which we call white... wedding is not African. While we are now a culture that has gonw west, we are also trying to cling to our "own culture after all". Many of you mentioned that it was a token and that is probably what it should be, however we are all aware that it is not the case anymore in this day and age. If a young man growing up in a porverty in the presnt day Zimbabwe, then he should not marry, because the standard is so high. I will not even talk about love because, withthe price love becomes irrelavant. This is not to say that everybody your daughter will love is poor, No!
Our African things are not legistated, that means there is no limit. Who does not want amantshontsho? Young people need to start thier lives, buy a house, car, raise their kids etc, but with the sowering prices of soul mates, that will beco...me a pipe dream. I am one for culture ubuhlobo by all means, but eish $$$ speaks. Times has changed somethings for better some for worse. Bottom line is money is now used to abuse some relations in some quarters, how many young people do you know who never married the ones they loved because of porverty even though they went in to prosper at some time in life. My arguement real does not apply to every situtation but to at least few people, who's lives and fate are now on the price tag. The African girl is the poorest person in in the whole world, not tilte deeds, ngoba she is brought here as property and she will remain that way. Have you ever had man saying uzaphuma uphele lapha, in case of uggly divorce or anything , she leaves and goes back home without a dime to her name.
As long as girls do not have are not empowered Africa will remain poor. Think of it from another perspetive, who gains by lobola? Not the girl, she will come home and languish in poverty again in case of marriage failure. Lord forbids tha it happens , but lo and behlod it hapens everyday.More over these are time of Aids and so on. We all know that most man are bringing the sickness in homes because they think they bought the other half and can do as they please, and they know for certain that abangakini imali sebayidla and your sisiter or daughter has nowhere to go.
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